After 20 years of answering the same old questions, Guy Martin reckoned there was nothing left to ask him. Challenge accepted…

As Britain’s most famous motorcyclist, Guy Martin has done an awful lot of interviews over the years. The problem with that is he tends to get asked the same questions again and again, and that can get very tiresome.
“I bet whatever you ask me, mate, I will have been asked before,” he said in our pre-interview chat. “I’ve been asked the same bloody questions for the last 20 years.”

I promised Guy that, if he would grant me an interview, I would only ask him questions he had never been asked before. He didn’t believe I could do that but agreed to give it a go.

The following interview has very little to do with motorbikes, but everything to do with the unique and hugely entertaining character that is Guy Martin. Prepare to find out things about Guy that even he didn’t know until he was put on the spot…

If I were to lock you in a prison cell for a month, what are you going to need to get by?

Bloody hell, good question, mate! I like that. I’d probably have the entire back catalogue of Race Engine Technology magazine. I’d need a supply of beans and toast, and I do like to use my own mug for my tea, so I’d have to bring that along. How long am I in for? A month? Right, I’ll bring my next project with me. In fact, can’t you just lock me in my own shed for a month and make that the prison cell? I’d be sorted then.

If you could have personally witnessed any moment in history, what would it have been?

Oooh, another bloody good one – I like that too. I’d probably say the Normandy Beach landings in 1944, then follow the troops from D-Day to Bastogne. I’d be doing well to be involved in that without getting shot though.

What would you be prepared to do to own a Britten motorcycle?

I’ve sort of changed my mind about that now. There was a time when I desperately wanted one, but I actually got the chance when the number three Britten (only 10 were ever built) came up for auction a few years ago but I was in the process of buying a house and I just thought I better not. It’s still one of the most iconic motorbikes for me though, and I’m sure another one will eventually come up for sale, but what would I do with it? I mean, I’d ride it on the odd occasion but I think I’d be better ploughing that money into my own projects so I can build my own things – there’s always something going on.

What’s the most impressive feat of engineering you’ve ever seen?

Some of the stuff the Germans were working on during World War II were well outside the box compared to what we were doing. Rolls-Royce were doing great things with superchargers on Merlin engines but the Germans thought about things in a different way with the Daimler 603 engine. On a bigger scale, I’d say the Three Gorges Dam in China. That’s mega. It generates one third of China’s electricity and it has actually put the world out of balance because it’s so massive. A day is now something like 0.0006 seconds longer because the sheer weight of the water it holds is enough to slow the rotation of the planet! That is right mad, eh? But as a feat of engineering, it’s seriously impressive.

Do you have any engineering heroes?

I didn’t really have heroes when I was growing up but I always had massive respect for engine tuners like Tony Scott and Chris Mayhew. On a bigger scale you have to respect the Victorian boys like Isambard Kingdom Brunel and George Stephenson. Some of the boys who come out of MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) are impressive too. Something like 31 NASA astronauts came out of MIT, including Buzz Aldrin. But I admire Tony Scott and Chris Mayhew because I developed an interest in engineering through motorbike engines. My dad was always fannying about with engines and I’d sit on his workbench in my nappy, watching him work. That’s what started the whole thing off.

What was your favourite toy when you were a kid?

Lego. I still play with Lego now. I did try Meccano but I never liked it as much. Lego Technics was what I liked. I do still muck about with Meccano a little bit but not as much.

What would you do if you could be invisible for a day?

Good question! Blimey, you’re full of good questions. It would be a great way to find out why things really happened. Like, spend a day at the Prime Minister’s place at Chequers or at Trump’s Camp David in America and find out how and why the really big decisions are made. It would be a bit like Big Brother – not that I’m into any of that sort of stuff.

Have you ever had a race weekend from hell where everything went wrong?

Yeah, loads of them. I’ve had bad TTs, I’ve had bad Scarborough meetings and British Superbike meetings, but it’s all part of it isn’t it?

If it was easy, people would be queuing up to do it, but they’re not.

But I’d say the most challenging week I had was at Pikes Peak in 2014 (the iconic American hill climb event that featured in an episode of the TV series Speed with Guy Martin) but when the dust had settled at the end of it, that turned out to be my greatest achievement in motorcycling and I’m still trying to match that now. Anything that could have gone wrong did go wrong but we still managed to finish the race. In fact, we managed to win the race (in his class). It was an absolute pain in the arse – I got about half-an-hour’s sleep all week. But my bike was like nothing else at that race and it was the first time a turbo bike had ever got to the top of Pikes Peak.

I spent five years building that machine and loads went wrong but we still managed to do the job with it, so the job satisfaction was immense and I’m always looking for ways to match that level of satisfaction.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve thought about at length during a race?

Oh, bloody hell, I was always thinking about daft stuff during a race. “I wonder what’s happening at work today.” “I wonder what my dog’s doing.” “What am I having for my tea? I could do with beans on toast.” My mind wandered all the time. I have trouble with a little man inside my head called Brian (Guy’s name for his ‘inner chimp’), but I’ve got a lead on him now – he’s alright.

When were you last truly afraid?

Twice, that I can think of. I’ve got an old Merlin engine from a Lancaster bomber and when I started it up it took off and started moving across the workshop and took a door off and caused havoc. I was genuinely shitting myself. That was proper hairy. But probably the hairiest thing I’ve ever done was riding a pushbike behind a truck at 112.9mph (also featured in Speed with Guy Martin). That wasn’t just TV bullshit – that was really hairy.

What was the last weird dream you had?

I’m always dreaming about strange stuff. The last one I remember I was dreaming about a pickle pipe on my Pikes Peak bike because it kept dragging air. I worked out how to fix it in my sleep and woke up with this brainwave, and it worked! So that was a rather constructive dream.

If you could go to the Moon for $100,000, would you do it?

Nah, I’m not bothered, to be honest. I’ve got too much on. Work, racing my pushbike – I want to do this, I want to do that. I haven’t really got time to go to the Moon. As great as it would be, what’s the reason for going? So that you can take a selfie and tell everyone on Facebook that you’ve been to the moon? I’m not really into that.

When was the last time you got a bit star struck?

Oh bloody ‘ell, that was years ago when I met Mick Doohan at the Goodwood Festival of Speed in 2008 and all I could say was, “I’ve read your book. Twice.”

Who did you have posters of on your bedroom wall as a kid?

I had one of Doohan sliding his NSR500 – that famous picture from Malaysia or wherever it was. I spent more time in my shed than my bedroom though. My dad built me a little shed, like a chicken shed, where I could just take stuff to bits. But I’ve never really been a hero-worshipper. I can appreciate what people have done and think “Now that’s a good idea” but I didn’t idolise them for it.

Who was the last live band you went to see?

I haven’t been to see anyone this year – I’m slacking. I went to see Sleaford Mods a couple of times last year and saw Korn a couple of times too. I like live gigs where you’re gonna get a pint of piss chucked at you. I like stuff that’s messy.

What’s the strangest request a fan has ever made of you?

Oh, you get them all the time. “Will you turn up and pop out of a birthday cake?” “Will you sign my boobs?” I’ve had all sorts.

How many tattoos have you got?

I’ve got one on the bottom of my foot that me and my mate did about 20 years ago as a dare, thinking it would grow out in six weeks, but it’s still there. And I’ve got a piston off a Suffolk Punch lawnmower on one leg and a carburettor off a Manx Norton on my other leg.

What’s your worst habit?

I pick me nose a lot. I probably talk too much as well.

Have you ever raced a two-stroke?

Yeah, the late Darran Lindsay was my teammate in 2005, and he was leading the Irish 250cc championship but broke his arm and couldn’t race in the final round. But he could win the championship if I took the win off someone else, so I went out on his really trick Honda RS250 and had to beat Ryan Farquhar. And I did, so Darran won the championship. He later sold me a motocross bike for half decent money as a thank you. He was a good bloke.

What’s the best thing you can cook?

If I was trying to impress someone, I’d cook them my lasagne. I put broccoli and boiled eggs in it. My missus started putting boiled eggs in lasagne and I was like “What are you doing?” I impressed her with my lasagne to start with and then she started putting boiled eggs in it. I’ll have a go in the kitchen. I’m alright, I won’t starve.

If you could only have one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Beans on toast. You know where you are with that, don’t ya?

What’s the last book you read?

A novel called Galapagos by Kurt Vonnegut. It’s proper odd. There’s a cruise ship in the Galapagos Islands and a massive eruption kills everybody in the world except the people on the ship, so they end up living on one of the islands. Then it switches to two million years later and humans have gone through devolution and they’re all laughing at the way we are now with our massive brains, wasting them by worrying about keeping up with the Joneses.

Have you read up on the man you were named after – Guy Gibson?

Yeah, a very interesting man. I don’t think he was necessarily a nice bloke, but he was efficient at his job. I don’t know how you take the way he died. Did he top himself when he was out in that Mosquito because he couldn’t imagine life without the risk after the war? The books don’t actually say that anywhere, but if you add up all the pieces it kind of makes sense. His dog was dead and the authorities wanted to put him behind a desk and out of harm’s way and he didn’t want that. I would say that’s what he did, but that’s just my take on it. 

WHO IS GUY MARTIN?

The most successful TT rider never to have won a race on the Isle of Man in June, Guy Martin finished on the podium 17 times but never quite made the top spot. He won just about every other road race, however, including 11 Ulster Grand Prix victories.

Since starring in the TT documentary film TT: Closer to the Edge in 2010, Guy has become a famous TV presenter, most noted for the series Speed with Guy Martin, in which he attempts various speed-related world records. He often succeeded too, becoming the fastest cyclist in the UK (112.94mph) and the fastest man ever on a Wall of Death (78.15mph).

As part of his television work, Guy has done everything from flying a Spitfire and a Vampire Cold War jet, to working for the Williams F1 team as part of its pit stop crew. He currently has his eyes set on breaking the 300mph barrier on a motorcycle, within a mile of a standing start, to set a new world speed record. On a bike built by himself, of course.

BUILT, NOT BOUGHT

You could learn plenty about Guy Martin by looking at his racing results. You might learn even more by looking around his shed. For Guy, the interesting bit has rarely been simply owning something fast – it’s understanding it, building it, modifying it and occasionally frightening himself with it.

THE MARTEK

Perhaps the ultimate Guy Martin motorcycle. Built around a heavily modified Suzuki GSX-R1100 engine enlarged to 1380cc and turbocharged, with a 1990s Martek frame and swingarm, the home-brewed special was Guy’s weapon for the 2014 Pikes Peak International Hill Climb. He built the bike himself, battled technical problems throughout the event but still won his class. More than a decade later, he describes that victory as the day he’d most like to relive.

THE MERLIN

Why buy an ornament when you can have a Rolls-Royce Merlin aero engine? Guy acquired an example of the legendary V12 that powered aircraft including the Spitfire and Lancaster, complete with a full-size propeller and mounted on a trailer. As he tells Stuart elsewhere in this interview, starting the thing once resulted in it moving across his workshop, taking out a door and genuinely scaring him.

THE VOLVO

Guy’s idea of a special-occasion car is predictably unconventional. His modified 1967 Volvo Amazon was built by Swedish engineer Mattias Vocks and combines classic Volvo bodywork with the sort of performance that makes the sensible-looking exterior rather deceptive. Martin has described the Amazon as one of his favourite vehicles.

THE TRANSIT

And then there’s the other end of the collection. Forget supercars; Martin has repeatedly sung the praises of the humble Ford Transit van. For someone who needs to shift bikes, engines, tools and assorted mechanical experiments around, a van that simply gets on with the job makes perfect sense. Ask him about favourite vehicles and the Transit has been mentioned in the same breath as the Britten racebike and his Volvo.

THE 300MPH BIKE

The project currently consuming Guy’s shed time is considerably less sensible. He’s developing a motorcycle to break the 300mph barrier from a standing start over one mile. He calls the exercise a science experiment rather than an ego trip and says the bike has already reached 260.658mph. Given his record of disappearing into a shed with an improbable idea and eventually emerging with something very fast, we probably shouldn’t bet against him.

GUY THE NUMBERS

0

TT victories. The stat everyone knows – and the one that hardly tells the story.

17

Isle of Man TT podiums across a road-racing career that made Martin one of the event’s biggest stars without ever standing on the top step.

11

Ulster Grand Prix victories, proving that while the TT win eluded him, winning on the roads certainly didn’t.

112.94 mph

The speed Guy reached riding a bicycle in the slipstream of a modified racing truck on Wales’ Pendine Sands. He still describes it as one of the most frightening things he’s ever done.

78.15 mph

His record-breaking speed on a Wall of Death in 2016, riding around a wooden cylinder under forces over 5.2G.

11m 32.558s

The time it took Guy to reach the summit of Pikes Peak in 2014 on his home-built turbocharged Martek. The bike was plagued by problems but he still won his class.

260.658 mph

The speed Guy says he has already achieved over a standing mile while developing the motorcycle with which he hopes eventually to crack 300mph.

300 mph

The next big number. Guy is still developing his home-built machine with the aim of becoming the first person to reach 300mph on a conventional motorcycle from a standing start over a mile.