There’s a bit of a debate raging amongst the lads I ride with. Luminous vests, road-worker safety gear, are they a good thing or not?

The plus side is you stick out like a lime green elephant. Kog kicked this off when he rode his lap of Australia in a safety vest three years ago. 13,000km in three weeks and he reckons it saved his life twice. Ray’s point was that it didn’t save Kog’s life for the other 12,988km, so what’s that as a percentage?

But then Ray had a mate who had his headlight on and was wearing high-vis when he got cleaned up at a roundabout in Albury. He was the third rider in line but the thinking was that he wasn’t aware of the possibility because he trusted he would be seen.

Right now, before going any further, I need to state. I am definitely NOT in favour of making high vision clothing compulsory. You’ve got to be kidding.

However, while planning an ‘Old Bangers’ ride – that’s taking the old bikes, not the old… never mind – with the HUNE lads last recently it was pointed out that since we’d be riding bikes that go a whole lot slower than most of the packet soup cars these days – even driven by your granny – it’d make sense to be seen. I spotted a couple on a beautiful MkIII Norton Interstate the other day punting up the M1 at a solid 60 miles an hour in the slow lane. Their vests made them stick out, hopefully more than the TV-sized info screens most of the above soup cars have sticking out of their dashboards.

Last week, with a solo dash down to Victoria to check on the prodigal son, I went and got myself a safety vest. Thinking was I was taking the Appliance, the ghost grey GS, and wearing mostly black and grey. Most times I’ve hit Victoria it’s been raining or sleeting or fogged out and that’s just the summer rides. This was mid-winter. It might pay to be seen.

How do I know if it worked? Here I am, 3800km of mostly back roads later, still alive and well. What I did notice is that I couldn’t see the vest anyway. In the mirrors there’s just a glimpse of shoulders. Because it’s a lined vest – no point wearing one that isn’t lined, they just flap around – it kept my core doubly warm too. Good thing, Vicbloodytoria was freezing and even with the sun out, up the middle of NSW we’re talking single digits.

I don’t know what that lining is made of but it sure ain’t natural. Possibly recycled laptops or something. Fed through a shredder. Probably be doing that with soup cars in a decade…

Other notables? Yes, the three cops I saw all waved at me. Nicely. Maybe they thought I was one of them?

You’re right, I’m old. Somehow I’ve gone from all-weather riding in an army jacket to wrapped up in an electric blanket. But it’s not just the blood that thins after too many parties; the old eyes don’t adjust as quickly as they used to either. Last year’s big learning project was TIG welding. Learning any type of welding requires watching intense light. Last time it was MIG welding but that was 20 years ago so now I can do that by sound. From the dark of the mask to the sudden intensity of the flash means my eyes come around slower than a 50cc scooter doing a lap of Phillip Island.

Seeing as there’s a few million old fogies like me currently perambulating the roads, many struggling with digital dashboards, it figures the odds have gone way down on being seen. To Ray’s point on ‘not being aware of not being seen’, I’d wonder whether his mate was compensating for time out. I’m told more accidents happen to riders making a motorcycle comeback than those of us who never stopped. Stop riding, even if you do keep your licence, and you lose that sixth sense.

Am I going to wear this vest when riding the Harleys? Probably not. My Harleys are all bright red, loaded with chrome and even the Road King can be heard over Kenny Rogers at full bloom. Anyway, it wouldn’t be cool.

Not as cool as setting a new personal Melbourne to Brisbane back roads record. Maybe this bloke was just trying to outrun his vest…