In Pit Lane – Proud, happy, and ready to kick

I am proud and happy to be able to write this column about this great sport of ours.

A sport where all concerned shall henceforth live by the creed of Professor Pangloss. “Everything is for the best, in the best of all possible worlds.”

Prof Pangloss (I am proud and happy to remind you) was a fictional character, in Voltaire’s comedy classic Candide, published in 1759.

The GP Commission’s latest directive, however, is not fictional. If only. Instead it is a directive from on high, effectively gagging anything remotely critical to MotoGP. In fact, it evokes more sinister novelistic references: George Orwell’s 1984, Big Brother, and the all-powerful Thought Police.

And Room 101, where those committing Thought Crime might be sent, to be confronted by “the worst thing in the world”.

I suppose the equivalent for MotoGP would be World Superbikes.

The directive came with a bulletin of rule changes. The main thrust is a new system of Race Stewards who will relieve Race Direction of punishing riders who transgress. This change was triggered by the Rossi-Márquez ‘kicking’ incident at Sepang, and the controversial outcome of a penalty that arguably cost Rossi the title.

The thought-police gagging stems from the same incident, whereafter an unseemly series of press statements most especially from Honda – specifically accusing Rossi of the kick – had added fuel to the controversy.

This flurry was, somebody has decided, somehow “detrimental to the sport”.

Nonsense. The whole affair generated worldwide headlines and was a pub topic in every world language. Personal rivalry is not detrimental to sport, but the opposite: its lifeblood. The more vituperative the better.

To pretend otherwise shows the numbing, dumb-downing instincts of a coward. And, when it’s actually written into the rules, also of a bully.

Here is the GP Commission’s wording: “Teams and Riders must not make statements or issue press releases that are considered to be irresponsible and hence damaging to the Championship.”

“Considered irresponsible” … by whom? Who is Big Brother?

And the punishment?

It is of course just a first step. First gag the teams. Then gag the journalists. How long will it be before a phrase or an opinion “considered to be irresponsible” will see its author banned from the paddock?

I tend to avoid reading press releases, generally bland expressions of the blatantly obvious, couched in a sort of false bonhomie no hell-bent would-be world champion racer could genuinely feel.

But I did a scan of some in over the past day or two. Just to check.

Here’s one, from Giovanni Cuzari, head of Forward Racing, arrested last year on criminal tax evasion charges, and still under a cloud. Presenting his Moto2 team (riders Lorenzo Baldassari and Luca Marini), he opens with these hallowed words: “I am proud and happy …” He goes on to trumpet a team “young and full of values that I very much believe in”. Er, could that have been put differently?

Then I turned to the Estrella-Galicia team launch, wherein six riders in three different classes had their say. And what did they say? Three of their statements opened with identical wording: “I am very happy”, while a fourth buried the same words in the second sentence. The other two found different ways of saying the same thing.

You will also be relieved to hear that they all intend to try their best, and to achieve the best possible results over the coming races.

So there we have our watchwords for the season to come: “Proud and happy.” Even if riders do kick each other, as long as it is done with pride and happiness, no-one could possibly object.

I repeat, I am proud and happy to be able to have written this. And I sincerely hope you are equally proud and happy to be reading it.

By MICHAEL SCOTT